A Cleveless Episode
by Bobby South
Summary: Here's an episode that focuses on Cleveland's families and friends without him. What will they do?


Donna Tubbs had just making pancakes.

"Pancakes is ready, everybody," she called to her family.

Cleveland Jr. was always the first to try the delicious pancakes with his big appetite and belly. Then Roberta came in, followed by Rallo. They all started eating.

"Kids, where's your father?" Donna asked.

"Have you checked the bathroom?" suggested Rallo. "He might be digging up worms again." He laughed at his dirty joke.

Roberta spat her food out. "Thanks, Rallo!" she yelled. "Now I've lost my appetite!"

"You wanna keep your figure in shape, don't you?"

"I haven't seen him all night," said Junior. "I was having nightmares and no came to support me."

Donna searched the whole house looking for Cleveland, but he wasn't in the house.

"Hmm, maybe he had to work early today," said Donna.

* * *

"Maybe he has to work late tonight," said Donna, who was up at eleven that night. So she went to bed. Next morning, she got up to make eggs benedicts for her family. Well, for the kids, because Cleveland _still_ didn't come down.

"Kids, Cleveland isn't making you keep any secrets, is he?" Donna asked.

"No," they said, not focusing.

"I'm being serious!" snapped Donna, looking angrily at them.

All the kids jumped.

"The only secret Daddy told me to keep from you was the only one of your favourite earrings he liked was the Ellen ones," confessed Junior.

"The only secret he told me to keep was that you shave your armpits," said Roberta. "He only told me that because I take after you, both personality and body."

"The only secret he told me to keep was that when you have your period, you really – "

"All right, hold it!" snapped Donna. She went to the phone and rang Waterman Cables. "Hi, Mr. Waterman. Is Cleveland there?"

"No, Mrs. Brown," said Waterman. "He hasn't been here yesterday either. And everything is going crazy without him."

Waterman was right. All the employees at Waterman Cable weren't getting any work done all because they missed Cleveland, especially Terry Kimple had no partner and no friend to work and to talk with. Even Arch, who was never impressed with Cleveland's ideas, was missing him as he had nothing to complain about, so he was unhappy than ever before.

* * *

That night, Donna went to _The_ _Broken Stool_ and she saw Lester, Holt and Tim talking to someone on their table. She marched forward furiously.

She pushed Tim and Lester away. "Look here, Cleveland!" snapped Donna. "I don't know what tricks you're up to, but this is gonna stop right now!"

Then she saw the guy wasn't Cleveland, but a blonde girl wearing a blue dress.

"I'm Pennsylvania Brown," said the lady. "But you can call me Penny for short."

"What is going on?" Donna demanded.

"Well, Donna," said Tim, "since we couldn't find Cleveland, we needed a fourth member and we decided to go for a female friend this time."

"You mean you haven't found Cleveland?" Donna was getting worried.

"Well, if it makes you feel better," said Lester, "I haven't seen any other black guys for a while."

"Hmm, this is more awkward than a socially awkward person in a social place," Donna said to herself.

_Donna remembered the time there was a shy little boy on a quiz night in a restaurant. He was with two other boys and they were playing against another group of three boys. Both of their scores were 990._

_"Okay," the announcer said to the shy boy's group. "You get this question right and you win the game! Who played Harry Potter's godfather?"_

_The boys turned to the shy boy. "Gary Oldman," he said so quietly. Everyone looked at him like they didn't hear him. Instead of speaking loudly, he covered his face._

_"Gary Oldman," said one of the boys from the other group._

_"That's right!" said the announcer. "You guys win!"_

_Everyone in the restaurant cheered the other group and laughed at the shy boy's group._

_"Thanks a lot, whimp!" snapped one of his colleagues. _

_"I thought we could trust you," said the other, "but I can see you're going to be a lot of good in the future."_

_The shy boy smiled a bit._

_"I meant that in a sarcastic way, moron!" snapped the other boy._

_The shy boy looked away unable to see anyone._

* * *

Donna was back at home and was on the phone.

"Are you sure Cleveland's not in Quahog, Joe?" asked Donna. "Well, thanks for searching for him."

She put the phone down and went to join her family and her family-in-law.

"I just don't know where he could've gone," she said, as she sat down.

"Did you kick him out by saying something that could've upset him?" accused Cookie.

"No!" protested Donna.

"Have you finally had enough of that whimp and sent him out to toughen himself?" asked Freight Train. "Cause I'm proud of you, if you did."

"What are we worrying about?" said Rallo. "With Cleveland gone, there are many opportunities here."

"Like becoming the man of the house!" exclaimed Junior.

"And you think _you_ could do the job?" Rallo said.

"Well, I _am_ the oldest male of the house!" snapped Junior. "And I'm top of my class at school!"

"And this house and this show are supposed to revolve around a big, fat, mental guy who does nothing but talk?" Rallo said. "Literally, just talk! You can't cook anything, you can't pay any bills, you can't do anything to help yourself, not even wipe your enormous ass!"

"Stop it!" yelled Junior, who started crying at Rallo's insults. "You're just being like Daddy."

"See?" Rallo smirked. "I'm only five and I could run this house and – "

"But you're not as good as him!" Junior went on.

"Junior's right," said Roberta. "_I_ should be the star of the show!"

"Why you?" asked Rallo.

"Because I'm the attractive one and the best role model and I have the most fans," she replied.

"Really? Let's go to the mailbox and see how many fans we all have," said Rallo.

Rallo, Roberta, Donna and Junior went out to the mailbox.

Rallo opened it and got out all the mail. He sorted the letters out. He gave Donna only three, Junior four, Roberta nine and the last pile had about a hundred left.

"These are all mine!" exclaimed Rallo happily.

"Wait, Rallo!" cried Junior. "I don't think all those letters belong to you."

"What are you talking about?" yelled Rallo.

Junior tried to lean forward, but Rallo blocked his way. Junior tried to walk around him, but he was too slow and Rallo was too smart for him. Junior gave up and jumped for the post, but he only fell down.

While the kids were still arguing about taking over from Cleveland, Donna was checking the mail for herself, though for a different reason. "Maybe Cleveland has sent us a letter."

But there wasn't. Then she turned around to see the entire population of Stoolbend was there. "Still no word from Cleveland?" asked Larry Fox, the town's mayor.

"Not a lip," replied Donna.

"Right! Everyone to my town hall!" the mayor ordered.

* * *

The entire population of Stoolbend gathered outside the town hall.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is an emergency!" said Larry Fox, who stood on a wooden. "We need to find Cleveland Brown. Because if we don't, what will we do?"

"I won't have a husband!" exclaimed Donna.

"I could move back in with you," said Robert.

"I'll have to find a new son!" sobbed Cookie.

"We'll make sure he's a better one," said Fright Train.

"I won't have a daddy!" cried Junior.

"I won't have anyone to shout to!" moaned Roberta.

"I guess my TV career will be flushed down the toilet," moaned Rallo. "Just like my goldfish."

"We'll be a group of three again!" moaned Holt.

"I won't have anyone religious enough to talk to!" Tim joined in.

"I won't have another black friend!" added Lester.

"The _Broken Stool_ won't be fun any more!" Gus pointed out.

"Waterman Cable will lose money without Cleveland's help," said Waterman.

"I won't have a partner!" exclaimed Terry. "Or a best friend." Then he turned to Paul. "Except you, Paul."

"I'll have nothing to complain about!" complained Arch. Everyone just looked at him. "Well, I do like to complain."

"My rescuing business will go down the waterfall!" cried Mr. Flippers. "Get it, guys?"

"I will finally have my own show!" cried a voice. "Giggety giggety goo!"

Everyone turned to see Glenn Quagmire walking in front of the Stoolbend sign. "You spin-off folk need a star to lead in this show."

"I couldn't agree with you more, Quagmire," said Joe Swanson, being pushed by his son Kevin. Behind them was Bonnie holding Susie.

"Hey, this is my show, Joe!" snapped Quagmire. "Who wants a star that does nothing but sit in a wheelchair all day?"

"Give me this show and I'll show you!" snapped Joe.

"Since I'm the star of Seth MacFarlane's most successful show," said Peter Griffin, walking with his family to Joe and Quagmire, "I think I deserve two shows."

"Hey, about making the star a woman for a change?" Lois insisted.

"Yeah!" Meg joined in.

Everyone booed and threw junk food in front of her face.

"I wanna be the star!" snapped Chris.

"Why go for an idiot and not a genius?" said Brian.

"I'm with you, Brian," said Stewie. "_Stewie_ _the Evil Genius Baby_. Good title?"  
"It gives away too much," Brian pointed out.

"Finally, after all these years, I'll get my own show!" exclaimed Roger the alien from _American Dad!_

"No way!" snapped Stan Smith. "I need you for my show."

"Is this because you enjoy being the main character of your own show, Stan, that you can't stand any one of us being the main character of a new show?" snapped Francine.

"Yes," replied Stan, truthfully but not bashfully.

"Well, I think _I_ would be a good main character for a show," Steve said for himself.

"What? A nerdy, ugly, all-talk-and-no-courage whimp who can't do anything?" laughed Hayley nastily.

"And whose mother does everything for him, including wiping his ass for him," added Jeff.

Steve kneeled down to the ground and sobbed his glasses out next to Klaus's bowl.

"_Ja,_ don't even bother to ask the fish," moaned Klaus. "Not that I would get a show, even if I _did_ want it."

Peter and Stan went to face-to-face with each other.

"You're my new Bin Laden," Stan said.

"And you're my new Giant Chicken," Peter said.

They stared at each other for a long time.

"Why not let Stoolbend choose?" suggested Peter.

"You're on!" agreed Stan.

The Griffins and the Smiths went on stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said Peter. "As you have no main character for your show, you get to pick… me."

"Or me," said Stan.

"Who will it be?" they asked together.

Everyone murmured while they tried to choose. Then a helicopter appeared above them. It stopped on the stage.

"The helicopter's openin'!" cried Donna.

"Who's that coming down on the rope?" asked Tim.

"It's a black fella with a black moustache," said Lester.

"He's chubby," pointed out Freight Train.

"It's – " started Wally Farquhare.

"CLEVELAND BROWN!" cheered the whole crowd, as Cleveland Brown landed on the stage. He turned around to face the Griffins and the Smiths. He drew out two guns.

"As long as I'm here, no one can have this show!" Cleveland yelled. "Not even my disappointing kids! Now, SCRAM!"

He fired his guns at the families, causing them to get back in their cars and drive off. He then turned to Quagmire and the Swansons. "And that goes for you, too!" he yelled as he fired the guns.

"Ever since he left _Family Guy_ and got his own show, he's changed a lot!" cried Quagmire as he and the Swansons got in their cars.

Stoolbend cheered. Cleveland's family went on stage.

"Where have you been, baby?" cried Donna, as she hugged her husband.

Cleveland cleared his throat. "Well, it all began…"

_Three days ago, Cleveland has been through a rough time. His work wasn't doing well and his colleagues weren't treating him fairly, not even Terry. At _The Broken Stool, _fair was rotten as the wood under Gus's bar. Tim, Holt and Lester all had interesting stories, but no one gave a damn about Cleveland's stories. And worst of all, his family haven't been treating him fairly. Donna and the kids have been giving him grief._

_"Sometimes, I wonder what this town and this show would be like without you," said Rallo._

_Then Cleveland made a decision. When Donna and the kids went to bed, Cleveland stayed up long enough to sneak out of the house and see what the town and the show would be like without him. _

"So what made you decide to come back?" Junior asked.

_The day before he came back to save his show, he was had spent two days in New York. That day, he saw promotions for _The Cleveland Show _– posters, TV trailers and everything. He saw a lot of New Yorkers getting excited._

_"If something was to change that show, I'd stopped watching it," said one kid._

_"Me too," agreed his friend._

_"I personally prefer this to _Family Guy _and _American Dad!_" said a third._

_Cleveland thought about his show and his home town and he thought characters from the other Seth MacFarlane series could take his show. So he had to go back._

"…and I did and here I am," Cleveland finished.

Then a man came on the stage. "Seth MacFarlane?" everyone said.

"Ladies and gentlemen, as long as Cleveland's here in this town, people keep watching the show and Fox doesn't cancel it," said MacFarlane, "I will keep this show going on."

"Thanks, Mr. MacFarlane," smiled Cleveland.

Cleveland jumped down and everyone shook hands and praised him. Tim high-fived him on the back. There was some bear claw marks on Cleveland's back. "Heh, friendship bear claw marks!"

"My best black friend!" praised Lester.

"My hero!" praised Holt.

"I'm thinking of promoting you," said Waterman.

"Welcome back," said Arch huffily, which was the nicest thing he said to Cleveland ever since he came back to Stoolbend and probably will be, too.

"Don't you ever run off like that again, baby!" Donna cried, as she kissed him.

"Don't leave me again, Daddy!" cried Junior, as he wrapped his arms around Cleveland's belly.

"Hey, man, don't leave this show," said Rallo. "We need you."

"You're just saying that because you don't want your careers to go down, do you?" said a not-fooled Cleveland.

"No, he's not!" cried Roberta. "I mean, we're not. We don't have many fan mail like you and – "

"So, you _are_ saying that," said Cleveland. "Anyway, now that everyone appreciates and needs me, especially since you guys can't even do a half of a single act of an episode without me, I'll stay and the show will get better than before! Good night, America!"

Behind the cheering crowd, the one man who wasn't cheering was Robert. "Well, what do you except me to do?" he said to the audience. "Praise the man who ruined my life and my chance for taking the show from him?"

THE END


End file.
